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Redefining Strength After Disability
Nancy Deyo on chronic pain, identity loss, and discovering a new way forward.
Reignite Resilience Podcast
June 10, 2026
Most of us are taught that resilience means pushing through. Working harder. Staying strong. Refusing to quit.
But what happens when the thing you're fighting is your own body?
In Episodes 36 and 37 of Reignite Resilience, we sit down with Nancy Deyo, former Silicon Valley CEO and Stanford Distinguished Careers Institute Fellow, whose life changed dramatically after a devastating injury on Mount Kilimanjaro. What followed was years of chronic pain, misdiagnoses, major surgery, opioid dependence, grief, and the difficult process of rebuilding an identity she no longer recognized.
Nancy's story challenges one of the most common myths about resilience: that strength is always about endurance. Sometimes resilience begins when we stop fighting reality and learn how to move forward within it.
As Nancy shares throughout our conversation, healing is rarely linear, but hope can still exist even when life looks very different than planned.
Featured Episodes
Episode 36: From Silicon Valley Success To Chronic Pain Recovery + Resiliency with Nancy Deyo (Part 1)
After experiencing a significant business loss, Nancy set out to prove something to herself by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro despite an existing back injury. At 16,000 feet, her body gave out.
What followed was a long and frustrating search for answers. Despite severe pain, Nancy was repeatedly told that nothing was wrong. As the months stretched into years, she faced the emotional burden of chronic pain while trying to navigate a healthcare system that often failed to see the full picture.
Key Insights
High achievement can sometimes teach us to ignore important signals from our bodies.
Chronic pain affects far more than physical health. It can impact identity, confidence, and emotional well-being.
Misdiagnosis and dismissal can cause people to question their own experiences.
Relief and recovery are not always the same thing.
Notable Quotes
"I thought resilience meant pushing through."
"When everyone tells you you're fine, but your body says otherwise, you start questioning yourself."
"The skills that helped me succeed were not the skills that helped me heal."
When doctors eventually told Nancy there was little more they could do, she faced a difficult reality. The question was no longer how to get back to who she was. The question became how to move forward from where she was.
Nancy shares her journey through grief, identity loss, and learning to embrace what her therapist called a "new normal." Rather than giving up, she learned how to stop fighting herself.
One of the most powerful moments in the episode comes when Nancy describes returning to graduate school despite being unable to sit comfortably. She brought a portable army cot into the classroom and learned to take up space without apology.
Key Insights
Acceptance is not surrender. It is acknowledging reality so you can respond to it.
Grief often accompanies major life transitions, even when those transitions are invisible to others.
Community can help us reconnect with who we are beyond our circumstances.
Asking for accommodations is an act of self-respect, not weakness.
Notable Quotes
"You don't have to give up. You have to give in enough to stop fighting yourself."
"I had to stop measuring my worth by what I could do."
"Pain became information instead of an enemy."
Key Themes & Takeaways
Theme 1: When Achievement Becomes a Trap
Many high performers build their lives around discipline, persistence, and control. These qualities can create remarkable success, but they can also make it difficult to recognize when a different approach is needed.
Key Takeaways
Endurance is valuable, but so is adaptability.
Listening to your body is a skill.
Strength includes knowing when to rest, recover, and recalibrate.
Whether caused by illness, injury, burnout, job loss, or unexpected change, life disruptions often bring grief for the future we imagined.
Key Takeaways
Grief is a natural response to change.
Healing begins when we allow ourselves to acknowledge loss.
We can honor what was while still making room for what comes next.
Theme 3: The Power of Community
One of the most moving parts of Nancy's story is how community helped her rediscover herself beyond her diagnosis.
Key Takeaways
You do not have to navigate difficult seasons alone.
Support can come from friends, family, therapists, advocates, or peers.
Sometimes borrowing someone else's hope can help carry you through.
Theme 4: Redefining Resilience
Nancy's experience reminds us that resilience is not always about fighting harder.
Sometimes resilience looks like:
Asking for help.
Accepting support.
Adjusting expectations.
Creating new possibilities within new limitations.
Choosing compassion over self-judgment.
Intentions of the Week
This week, consider these intentions:
I will listen to what my mind and body are trying to tell me.
I will treat challenges as information rather than evidence of failure.
I will give myself permission to adapt when circumstances change.
I will ask for support when I need it.
I will focus on what is possible today.
Tools to Resiliency
Inspired by Nancy's journey, here are a few practices you can try this week:
1. Conduct a Personal Check-In
Take five minutes each day to ask yourself:
What am I feeling physically?
What am I feeling emotionally?
What do I need right now?
2. Reframe Your Limits
Instead of asking, "Why can't I do this?" Try asking:
"What can I do within today's reality?"
3. Build Your Support Team
Identify one person you can reach out to when things feel overwhelming.
Remember, resilience grows stronger in connection.
4. Separate Identity From Circumstances
Write down five qualities that define who you are beyond your job, health status, achievements, or responsibilities.
Review the list whenever you find yourself defining your worth by what you can produce.
Listen to More Inspiring Stories of Resilience
If these conversations resonated with you, we invite you to subscribe to the Reignite Resilience podcast and share these episodes with someone who may need encouragement today.
Each week, we bring you stories, tools, and insights designed to help you navigate life's challenges with greater courage, clarity, and hope.
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Thank you for being part of the Reignite Resilience community.
Life doesn't always unfold the way we expect. Plans change. Identities shift. Challenges arrive without invitation.
Yet even in those moments, there is still room for growth, connection, and possibility.
As Nancy's story reminds us, resilience is is found in meeting ourselves with honesty, grace, and the willingness to begin again.
Sincerely,
The Reignite Resilience Team